Whoops! I hacked your account. sorry honey

I just hacked my wife's blog with a little help from her because things could have gone south fast if she didn't guide me a little on how the navigate the blog page. I Love You Babe your the best wife ever!

Thrift and Trend Thursdays

If you know me well you know my love for clothes and my uttermost fondness for finding them as cheap as possible. For me that means buying second hand.

So I decided to start doing Thrift and Trend Thursdays to show people that it is totally possible to be trendy and thrifty at the same time!

Shirt: Forever 21 yardsale for $2

Skirt: Talbots brand new with tags original price $79.50 I got it for $6.50 at Goodwill

Shoes: sisters closet so free! Love me hand me ups! (I'm the oldest of 4 girls)

What about you? Are you a Thrift and Trend Girl?

What's your reason?!

On a night like tonight, my heart is so heavy and my breath catches every time I think of them.

It's a good thing I am trying to read through the bible in 90 days because being in his word is all I really want to do right now! When you feel overwhelmed, lost, confused, angry, hurt, or just plain need love, turn to his word. I know that this is the only place I can really find peace right now! What's your reason to stay in the word?!

All I need to do is Love

We heard their car in the driveway as he stuck the last few dishes in the sink. My stomach jumped as I thought about how this might go. We had never done this before.

When they walked in I oped out of a hand shake and went right for a hug. It just felt right. He looked surprised but smiled with appreciation. He extended his hand to him and introduced himself but without even looking at him he said "My hands are wet so, I won't shake your hand."  That pit in my stomach grew. Maybe this was a bad idea. It was so far out of our comfort zone. But then, like the man I knew and fell in love with, he washed the last dish. He turned and dried his hands and with a big smile he shook his hand and introduced himself.

In that moment I felt the love of God like never before for someone else. After all didn't Jesus spend all his time with sinners and the least of these? My life had been so much about spending time with the saints and Pharisees that I never knew what it meant to really love like Jesus. To Love those who it is hard to Love.

Jesus love looked so different then what it is portrayed as now in our religious pharisee society. We play judges and hit our gavels down hard on the heads of those who just want love. We speak when we only need to just be present. We argue when we need only to just love. After all God has not called us to judge but to Love.

Now I sit here and wonder why it took me so long to get to this place of Love. The place where God changes lives and I need only to Love them. This place where Jesus saves and I need only to Love them. What a weight that has  now been lifted off my shoulders realizing really all I need to do is Love! Love covers a multitude of sins after all doesn't it?

Above all, love each other deeply, because love covers over a multitude of sins. 1 Peter 4:8

I am angry and confused

This year has been one of the most difficult years in my life in regards to faith. A little over a year ago when I decided to stop trying to plan and control my life and let God write my story, things just got well plain crazy.

Now here I sit again completely confused and angry about what God is doing in my life.  I am angry at what I saw. Those faces I can't forget the girls who's faces haunt me at night and make me want to kiss the computer screen when I see their pictures. My life here is like another world and I am angry about that. I want to get lost in this life of working and raising my kids, living the American dream. Lost so I don't have to remember all those that I now love on the other side of the world. I want to remember because how dare I ever forget! I want to remember cause I do not understand why that is not me! Why do I have food and a house and a life full of more things then I could ever need? I am angry because I don't know what to do and I so want God to show me. It's hard to be still and wait on the Lord. I know he took us there for a reason. It has broken me in ways I can never put to words. It has totally taken me and shook me to the core. It has left me confused and angry at everything I know and love.

But most of all it has forced me to lean hard into God and trust him by faith that he has a plan for everything and everyone and that in good time he will show me what that plan is. I need now only be still and wait on him and now I say Lord in Faith I step out. I do not know where I am going or what I am doing but I know you know what you are doing and it is beyond my wildest imagination! 

Prayer

Prayer seems like it should really be such a simple thing yet after so many years of being a Christian it can still feel so foreign to me. I want to pray without ceasing yet so often I cease. I want to be a prayer warrior but instead I just worry. I want to seek God and his will yet I ask for advice from everyone but him. It's obvious now more then ever that during this time of going deeper I need to spend much more time in prayer and digging into God's word. Those two things weave into each other and help create a deeper relationship with our savior. So that's why when I saw She Reads Truth was doing the you version prayer plan I decided to jump on board. Where better to learn about prayer then to read what the word of God says about it. After all no one knows better how to speak to God then his own son. 

Going Deeper

Today was day one of my 40 day fast from FB.

While we were in Ethiopia we went to Beza International Church and the pastor spoke on going deeper. He talked about in order to go deeper we need to give things up and that it would cost us but that our reward would be to go deeper with Jesus. I need that. After our trip to ET I feel more then ever lost in this life I am living of the American dream and really need some clear direction from God as to what our next step should be. I need to go deeper. I need to recklessly abandon all things that are holding me back so I can be closer to my God.

FB is a huge time waster for me and really just a mind number. It's an place to complain and an excuse to brag.  I though about doing a month but then I felt like God said 40 days. So here we go. Maybe FB is something big to you and giving up would be easy but let me know tell you in the past year I have fasted twice from FB and both times it was only for a week and that was difficult. I just need to stop letting little meaningless things stand in my way. Time to go deeper and stop living in shallow waters!

The 5 things for 5 years!

Today is our Five year wedding anniversary. It's a true testimony to God that we made it this far but God has blessed us and what seemed to be an impossible road has now become just a few bumps along the way.

In honor of that here is my list of five things I learned in my five short years of marriage.


1.  Make sure porn stays out of your marriage! By this I don't just mean the incredibly disgusting stuff you find on the internet and in magazines that so many men struggle with. I am talking about woman porn. Pornography is the substitution of reality for a more pleasurable fantasy. (read this article to hear more about this) This can kill your marriage quicker then quick. Stop looking at other women's husband and thinking about how great they are with their kids, how wonderful they are at leading their, and everything else you wish your Hubby would do! Start taking time daily to remind yourself of why you love your hubby and how grateful you are God gave you him!

2. Fairytales can be bad when they come in the above mentioned scenario. Real life fairytales can happen! The kind of Fairytales only God can weave together. The kind that happens when you start trusting God and praying continuously for your spouse. You CAN'T change your husband but God sure CAN! Don't give in to the depths of despair and believe what the father of lies has to say when you are going through a difficult time. God has brought the two of you together and he does desire for you to love each other and be a happy team! Keep working at it and keep praying and you will be living your very own unique fairytale!

3. Let it go. For the love chocolate let it go! I promise he didn't mean to hurt your feelings. When he said he thought he said what he meant not what you thought he meant! Don't drudge it back up every fight. She his imperfections but then see where he is really truly trying to change. Look in the mirror sometimes and realize how incredibly difficult and frustrating you can be. But when it doubt let it go. He didn't mean to hurt you and he is sorry even if he don't quote Shakespeare.

4.  Life gets hard. You get tired and the kids get sick. But make time for the bow chick a bow bow. Be the initiator sometimes and go the extra mile. You won't ever regret it and your hubby will be a happier man for it.

5. The things in life that take the most work are the things most worth it! It's hard work! It is NOT for the faint of heart or for the selfish person. But Marriage without a doubt is an institution of God and wit his help we can make it work. Whatever you do never introduce the D word. The D word has become a swear word in house and is never said in reference to our marriage EVER! There is not exiting this ride baby sometimes its hanging on for dear life but most of the time it is the most fun ride of my life and having someone to share it with makes it all the more special.

He is my best friend and I love him more today then I did five years ago when I walked down the aisle! 

50 Shades of Red

Maybe your like me and you find that you become easily attached to the characters in your favorite t.v. shows and books. I cry when they face hardship and rejoice when they finally get that break they have been waiting for. I hold my breathe and turn each page in anticipation of them finally getting back together.  I may just get a TAD bit attached to the characters and their lives.

I know you probably already have read some great articles on why you should NOT read 50 shades of Grey but in case you didn't here (If you care) is my 50 cents!



I would like to point out first and foremost my  hubby is great. He is kind, gentle, compassionate, and so beyond patient with me. When I put on a few lbs and when I don't wear make up he loves me all the same. He never asks for much from me and loves me unconditionally. Frankly, I don't deserve him! He is everything (from what I hear) this Mr. Grey character is not. So why then would it be a big deal for someone like me to read this story? Well, because I am a human with a sin nature and sometimes the idea of a "fantasy" relationships may appeal to me. The idea of getting out of the mundane to escape my reality and be someone else. Maybe this is to forward. I have never been one to be afraid to really share the truth about myself! But what is happening to us as women that in order to get in the mood we need to read these kind of books. When did wonderful loving sometimes extremely annoying men become not enough for us?
 I won't read this book. Not only because I shouldn't but because honestly I can't. I can't allow myself to get swallowed up by these characters and story lines and land in a fantasy world where being in bondage and controlled by a man is somehow weirdly attractive. But then again maybe your not like me and you don't find yourself engrossed in these kind of stories thinking about the story lines even when your not reading them and wondering what it would be like to be her. But what if you are? Do you draw the line somewhere? Why is it gross and perverted if men watch porn but as woman its perfectly acceptable to read these kinds of things?
So maybe I am 50 shades of red admitting these kind of things to you but I don't understand why we hold our hubbies to such a high standard but allowing ourselves some kind of get out jail free cards for this stuff! Women let's stand up, let's show the men we are holding ourselves to the same standards!  Let's admit we as women can struggle too. We can get lost in stories lusting after characters that are nothing like our hubbies and wishing to escape from our realities. Lets not pretend that because everyone else said it's sooo good and has a great storyline is an excuse to sub come to one of satan's stupid tricks!